Alone

I've been pondering a whole bunch of non sense for the past 3 days, and I've come to three conclusions, first that I have WAY too much time on my hands and not enough stuff to do to fill it up, second, that when one is secluded, one has time to figure out nonsensical things and lastly DO NOT LEAVE ME ALONE for three days..

No basically the nonsensical bit are untrue, I've figured out plenty of things that make a little sense.... Ramadan has been a most refectory process for my inner spirit......

I've come up with a couple of interesting fact about my being and its place in this world. First I’ve discovered myself an eternal optimist. Second I love the city I live in with the profundity of the Nile. Finaly I'm completely in love with the fact that I come from a mix background.

Why am I the eternal optimist? Only the Most Bountiful could truly explain that for He knows me better than I know myself...but I'll try to explain it. I started speaking to this person, who in my opinion finds it fashionable to not believe that the world can and will correct itself. He believes that history serves no purpose, and cannot and will not help us learn from our forefathers mistakes, and improve upon them. That is one of the main reasons I want to teach history in High school. Because I remember when I was there, history was but a bore, and the only reason I took it was by obligation....(in Quebec one can only receive their diploma after completing level 4 history) which is basically a bore...to me at the time. But then I met an Amazing teacher who made history a part of me, and made it very personal. He basically taught us to see that history is human nature at its prime...( hence the reason it was recorded) unfortunately human nature at its prime is pretty repetitive… and consistent. We were a very culturally rich school with a sum of about 54 or 56 different nationalities . So then my teacher thought to himself;" Why would bunch of immigrants care about Jacques Cartier and Canadian history?». Conclusively, he related our own background that lay various part of the world, to this very dulling history. Therefore, remembering tidbits of Cartier, Maisonneuve, Cabot, was a easy as remembering ones own revolution; that has be counted to us by our parents, neighbours etc.. History was no longer dulling, it became personal, and became a very real part of my life and the lives of all the students in that class.

Where was I going with this? Yeah my eternal optimism stems from the fact that he utterly helped me change my perception of humanity, and its reoccurring circles, things that made me very much aware of the fact that as we live, I am reliving history, and somehow by teaching it to others, that would help us alter our vision of this world. Hence my optimism!!

Why do I love Montreal? Really its quite simple....it has the best of both worlds...You have the anonymity of a big city...the services of a big city....and the quaintness of a small town. Its pretty incredible that I can walk down the street and say hello to someone else without knowing them and the response isn’t an automatic... eyebrows arch, they either smile or respond “Bonjour”. There is no staggering aggressiveness and there are always line-ups at bus stops no pushing nor shoving, individuals helping ladies with baby carriages without being asked, if someone steps on your foot in the metro, they always stop and apologize, I always stand up for pregnant or old ladies in the bus/and or metro, and I’m not the only one. I can ask a police officer to give us directions, and not fret about walking about with my papers.....Christmas, Ramadan, Hanukkah, Kwanza, the Chinese New Year...are all celebrated on a grand level, to the point where...even big name restaurants have a Ramadan special...Chinese 7alal restaurants...WHERE else in the world do you see these things occur? I love it and when I travel it makes me appreciate it 10 million times more...

Finally why am I in love with the fact that I come from a mix background? I always wanted to belong somewhere when I was young you know? Belonging to 2 distinct ethnic backgrounds in Africa, isn’t usually a problem, I could adapt to both, and be accepted, but the fact of the matter is that my parents converted to Islam ( my father was Catholic, and my mother an adamant protestant) prior to my being birthed so my sense of belonging no where to be found. Their tribes rejected both me and my parents profusely. Then to add to the culture trauma, we moved to Canada and to find belonging my parents were my only point of reference.

But I've seen that not belonging to any ethnic group has made me belong to a group that surpasses the exclusivity of an ethnic and or cultural group. The group that I belong to, is that my Ummah... I love the fact that I know and love these people and belong to them because of their values and ethics. Those are the only things that bind us together...isn't that beautiful? One might ask why does this have anything to do with the fact that I come from two African countries, the reason is pretty simple, had I been part of only one ethnic group, my being Muslim wouldn’t have changed much, I would still be full blooded, but the Islam thing was the drop that drowned the vase. Therefore, instead of being forsaken for it, I love it, embrace it and hope to never part with it. With that, I’ve learned, 2 things, one that my parents sacrificed a lot for their beliefs, second that I shall never be alone, if I am Muslim, my Ummah, my Allah that is all I need to belong. Therefore I say with pride, that I will and should be more loyal to my fellow Muslim than to the territory within which I was born, I will please Allah dutifully Insh’Allah and that is all I seek in this world.

yours truly,

Jamz