Friday, February 03, 2006

what do dreams mean?


Last night I had a series of dreams, three distinct dreams where one dream had nothing to do with another, and realeased in me three respective emotions that were briefly lain upon my being. Why have I concluded that they were not one in the same dream? Probably because I slept moe than I should have, and because there was no cohesion within one dream to the next, no glue to stick them together...just my pure imagination...that difts off suddenly when I go to lala land...here are interesting dreams...

My understanding of the first dream was one had perhaps the most detail, or the most meaning to me. I was amongst a group of my comrades from school on a trip to my place of birth. Somehow, on my way out of the airport, I stopped, while my friends were all laughing and jesting about. I found myself confronted with a woman who possessed my mothers looks, I wasn’t certain for it took me aback, and yet when I looked again to confirm what I had seen, I couldn’t count it as mere coincidence. I merely sat there for what felt like an eternity and stared at her, her moves, and my voice…everything. Perhaps this comes from the fact that I don’t remember any of my aunts from my mothers side and had I probably wouldn’t have dreamt of her as such. So, gathering all my wits about me, I came up to her and ask her if she knew a woman by my mother’s name. She looked me up and down a signature move of my very own kin, she asked pleafully whom was asking. I told her that she reminded me of my mother and my mothers face was forever engraved in my ill dotted self. So looked at me and uttered my sisters name “Amina?” she said quietly almost to see if I would recognize the name. I said “ Its Jamilla, Amina is at home” as, if to prove it she started speaking to me in my mother tongue, which in real life I have no grasp over, but somehow I spoke the foreign tongue until she embarrassed me, with tears gleaming in her eyes. To confirm the impossible fact that my mother was in fact her sister, I pulled out my cell phone and called home, speaking unbearably fast, I told her of my odd coincidence right at the airport. The lady was my aunt, and spoke so fast I couldn’t keep all I knew was at the end of the phone call, she was smiling, brushing my hair with her fingers and telling me that I would come and rest at her house. As I got there, I remember thinking how lucky I was, and how amazingly beautiful her residence was. Then I lap to another dream although this one still in Kenya.


So I was in Kenya ohh beautiful Kenya. Never in my life have I seen such beauty and its my place of birth, a pride of land that I had never afore felt nestled quite easily within me. We were brought to what I believe is a national park, where we saw lions sleeping, all of God’s creatures simply laying for my eyes to see. Then my best friend Caroline came across this huge forsaken creature, this crocodile that could easily match her size thrice times. She way gaily walking towards the creature without a care in the world, knelt down to pat him, and I was screaming at her: “ARE YOU MAD YOU CRAZY POLISH GIRL WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU DOING?” My voice seem to arise the creature and it almost took a nip at her arm, but she calmed the creature down whispering soft nothings into its non apparent ears. Then with a raging grunt the animal made its way to me, gnawing at my leg, and I was screaming for my dear life. Caroline who in my dream seemed to be accustomed to the crocodiles moods, gently grabbed his mouth shut and sat on him for a good while, still whispering nothings into its invisible ears, but the animal seemed to have calmed down and made a gleeful noise before returning into the swamp, I was so grateful to her saving my life, I could but hug her tightly until she complained that I had rid her of her breath.

My Third and final dream during my stretched hours of sleep, came about very oddly. All I knew for certainty, was that I was to be married to a Turkish fellow and that I was delaying everything because of my need for my natural release. My sister was tailgating me almost to make sure I wouldn’t run away. I was running up and down stairs looking for a bathroom, this place that seemed a labyrinth and I couldn’t just couldn’t not go to release myself it was an urging matter that seemed to have prompted a lot of stir. Every time I would find myself back in the lush roam where I was about to give myself away to this man that I had a current dislike for. I wasn’t running away, my fate was sailed but I guess I wanted to be more comfortable with it, and not remember myself urging the Imam on so I could finally find release. On my way to the bathroom the one that had been hidden I found myself faced with a man I had long forgotten, someone I had met when I was a mere child. His name was Yusuf. I really cared much for him and I don’t remember seeing his face only knowing that it was in fact he and he was there somehow when I was about to give myself away. It seemed destiny. I eventually found the dreaded bathroom, but as I came down the stairs to finally marry it was her Yusuf who was at my side, we got married instead of the Turkish fellow, who I hadn’t seen since I had crossed him before leaving to find myself a restroom.

After the long series of dreams I have to ask myself what it all means, do I need to find my roots and that is why I dreamed of an aunt of which I have no real concept? Do I need to let myself be protected by someone I deeply care about, even from things I have caused? Is that why Caroline was there, with her sudenly acquired skills with animals? Am I afraid to get married and to shackle myself to someone I don’t know? I really have a lot to maul over. If anyone else finds another possible meaning to this…plz help me.

Jamz dreadfully sleepy